Prologue: Leg presses are a bit like masturbating with 30 grit sandpaper. At first, it sounds like fun. Then, after about an hour of work, you realize that you're really no closer to being done that when you started.
I REALLY wasn't in the mood today, but I prepaid two days yesterday and I hate wasting money worse than I hate working out in a homosexual monkey cage. Besides, I busted Bryant's yams for not training yesterday. Today I intended to take my iPod but somehow managed to forget it. So here's how it went:
Squats: 135 x 10, 225 X 10 for 3 sets (I didn't bring my belt)
Leg press: Not sure how many sets I did. Worked up to 14 plates for four and decided I was bored.
One set of pullups
Three sets of Hammerstrength pulldown thingys with 1 million pounds.
One set of hamstring curls: I think I became gay while I was doing this. One set was enough.
That's it. I leave for Louisiana tomorrow at noon. Seriously though, the workouts weren't that bad. I can get a good workout with concrete blocks. The last two days have been a brutal reminder of how blessed I am to have my own gym. Everyone in that place checks you out from the second you walk in. 99% of them are completely wasting their time. A few times I laughed. I few times I cringed. But mostly, I was just embarrassed for them. They're like a bunch of dogs humping fire hydrants. I used to feel sorry for them, like they just needed some guidance. Now I'm just glad I'm not one of them. All the information in the world is available to them for free. They just wont stop humping long enough to realize that someone might have something to tell them. Oh well. I miss my gym.
Epilogue: Skippy the personal trainer showed up. He was actually wearing a stretchy shirt that said "personal trainer". Dude couldn'a weighed a buck fourty five with a bag of lead balls in his jockey strap. He demonstrated the first excersice to his client as something like a squat holding a ten pound plate out in front of you and then immediatley dropping to your face and doing a pushup, only to hop back up and start the rediculous cycle over again. At this, I guffawed and decided it was time to find some dinner.
1 comment:
LMAO! methinks you have your literary opus here, brah. i do gotta say, though, that goin' after it with 30 grit doesn't even sound fun at first. And while i can neither confirm nor deny that i've engaged in some of the non-preacher position kama sutras, i can't really imagine taking an hour to figure out it's not getting the job done. >Snort<
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