Killing the gnome

I don't know if it is actually possible to die from boredom, but I am at the least teetering on the edge of sanity. I played plants VS zombies for approx. 6 hours yesterday. Looks like I'm approaching an equally stimulating itinerary today. It could be worse. I could be using my intellect for the greater good of humanity. or I could be selling hot dogs from one of those cool little wiener carts. I think testing adult diapers would be more fulfilling than what I'm doing. It's not that I hate my job. I don't. I'd just like to jam finger through my eyeball to break the monotony.
I have been "working out" this go around in Houston. I've noticed an interesting trend in this particular hotel "fitness center". the room consists of three treadmills, three elliptical machines, a stationary bike, and a stair climber. on the other side of the room you've got this rather ingenious cable weight station thingy. It's actually pretty nice cuz you can hit a lot of things if you have an imagination. For example, tonight I'm going steal some snooty prick's neck tie, strap it to the machine, and drag the whole damn thing around the room for laps. Oh, and it has a fat pullup bar. Next to that are two adjustable benches and dumbells up to 50lbs. A bunch of bosu balls and mirrors all round. I wouldn't normally call this a trend, but it's happened exactly the same the last two days. The last time I was here, I recall a similar occurrence. This evening I'll confirm my suspicions. It goes like this: I walk in the room and every man not on a treadmill either finds one or suddenly realizes that they have something much more urgent that needs addressing anywhere in the world except that room. If a female is present or comes in behind me the treadmills are also vacated. I don't know if it's because I'm wearing a t-shirt that hasn't been washed in about six months or if the world really is packed full of a bunch of insecure nancy-boys. Geez, I'm not that big. And I've got a beer gut that rivals the Pilsbury D-Boy. What the F is going on in this world?! And then I think, "Huh, cool. got the place to myself again." I'll take that anyday over watching middle age dudes wearing short shorts from 1982 doing situps on a giant bouncy ball. Peace. I gotta get back to my game.